Where am I?

In a previous post, I scoffed at people not being able to identify the US on a map. I was wrong, and I have serious doubts about our educational system now too.

We rent to a lot of college students, they never fail to tell me about it too. College is so hard. I have to study and I don't have time to pay my rent. Yesterday, I had to call a college girl about her delinquent rent again. I have to call her about every other month. Usually she has had a stressful week and forgot to send it. I then have to listen to how taking a test is soooo hard! I have little sympathy for her, she picks her own classes, if its so hard, she should try something else.

This month's excuse was a lot more fun than that. She explained to me that because her last test was soooo hard, her Mommy had "whisked her out of the country" for a vacation. She really said that "whisked out of the country". I politely asked where she went. She said they went "all the way to Puerto Rico". Yeah, I paused so long, she thought I hung up.

I asked her why didn't she mail it from Puerto Rico? She explained to me that being in a foreign country and all, she didn't trust the mail over there. I lost my no sarcasm promise right there. I said: "You realize that Puerto Rico is part of the United States right? and they have the same postal service we do. Things mailed from there take about 3 days to get here."

She said:" I'll just put my check in the mail today."

Yay for getting her to shut up! What is wrong with you people? Get a map college girl!

This means war!

Last week, Blanche, the other part timer in our office got a call. Apparently a check made out to our company was found in the parking lot of the building next door. The office manager who called was at first very nice but she wanted Blanche to come over to her office and pick it up. Blanche asked her to mail it as she is over 80 and didn't want to walk that far. The office manager refused and said we had to come pick it up in person with a letter of authorization saying we had the authority to pick up checks. Naturally, Blanche left the message for me to deal with as I am an expert in the weirdo department, plus I don't mind walking too much.

I called the very next day, talked to the office manager, and now we are at war. The lines have been drawn in the parking lot. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi, This is Deanna, from (our company) and I hear you have found one of our tenants checks. I was just calling to see how we could go about getting it over here.

Idiot next door: Well, we'll have to have one of your business cards, and a letter of authorization from your company president saying you are authorized to handle checks for you company.

Me: Well, I don't have any business cards, I just work part time, and our "president" is on vacation this week. Can't I just run over and pick this up?

Idiot next door: No, I don't know that you work for that company or that they trust you with checks.

Me: Are you kidding me? This is a small office, its just Blanche, Me, and the "president". We handle all the checks between us.

Idiot next door: Well, I just can't hand this over to anyone. How do I know you even work there?

Me: You called here yesterday, how would I know you have it, if I don't work here?

Idiot next door: Well, the check stays in my desk until you get a letter of authorization and a business card.

What is wrong with you people?

Keep your germs away from my kid!

Matthew has a cold again. This is like his 4th since school started. I know its because other parents send their kids to school when they are sick, so the germs spread farther. Its equal opportunity sickness. My kids have it so yours should too.

So, for the long weekend, I get to deal with a snotty nose. When Matt isn't feeling well, he gets cranky and tends to stomp his feet. I have had to fuss more about foot stomping than any sane person should have to.

Today I told him for the 87th time to quit stomping around the house when he doesn't get his way. He explained he wasn't stomping, he was running real hard. I told him that running with attitude, is still stomping your feet. Its going to be a long weekend.

What is wrong with you people? When your kids are sick, keep them home.

Free the Tomatoes!

These are the tomatoes I wrote about 2 weeks ago. As you can see they are still un-picked and languishing on the vine.

Those poor, orphan tomatoes. They need me to pick them and turn them into a tasty salad or BLT.

Would it be wrong to sneak over there and pick them? I don't think these people would even notice. This is an obvious case of tomato neglect. I don't think anyone would think it was wrong if I liberated these beauties from their neglectful owners.

As you can see, I have thought about these guys for way too long. What is wrong with you people? Pick them already!

Quick! Look the other way!

The parks department is building a new walking path through Joe Creason Park. I can't wait for them to be done with it. I have walked in that park for years, and this is really going to be a great upgrade. No more wet shoes from walking in the dewy grass. No more tripping over tree roots. I will be there on opening day for sure.

Last night on our way home I noticed a lot of people already using the path. Quite a few of them had their dogs with them too. We stopped in the park for a little bit, Matt likes to play on the swings.

I was watching this lady with her dog, who was obviously doing its business. As soon as this dog dropped its behind, she looked the other way. At first I thought she didn't want to embarrass her dog. I guess maybe her dog was shy, and couldn't go if it was being watched. I know I don't like to go in public, maybe her dog has the same issues.

I thought that until I noticed every time the dog went, she looked the other way and then never looked back at what her dog did. I guess she thought if she didn't see it, she didn't have to clean it up. I didn't see it, so its not there. I don't know what she thought but after a couple of poos from her dog I began to see the pattern. Dog makes move to go, lady's head whips the other way. Once her dog was too quick, and I thought she was going to get whiplash.

I like dogs, I have a dog. I clean up after my dog. I don't think its very nice to leave little "presents" for other people to step in or have to clean up. What is wrong with you people?

You think that hurt?

I was at Matthew's soccer practice today and I overheard two men talking. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but they were loud and right behind me. I couldn't not hear their conversation. They were comparing their weeks and one guy won, he passed a kidney stone.

He went on and on about how painful it was, and how long it took to pass. He didn't think he got enough pain medicine and he wasn't happy about it either. From the way he described the pain, I thought he must have passed a cantaloupe sized stone.

He told the other guy, he thought it was as big as an acorn or larger. He was quite surprised when the nurse showed it to him. It was so small he could hardly see it.

At this point, I could hardly contain my laughter, any woman could have talked him through that, we all know the drill. "Blow through the pain dear." or how about "It will all be worth it when you are done."

I wanted to tell them about the woman who just had her 5th baby. That in itself is a feat, but this one weighed 17 lbs!

Kidney stone? What is wrong with you people?

Practice, practice, practice.

I was heading to Masterson's for a luncheon meeting today, and I was a little foggy on my directions. I haven't been to U of L in a long time, and as fast as its changing these days, you really need a map to get around.

Anyway, I took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the midst of campus. I figured I would see something that looked familiar soon, so I just kept driving. I got stuck in a parking lot, got turned around and ended up behind some dumpsters. I wasn't getting anywhere.

I finally recognized the Cardinal Inn, and saw some guys taking out the trash, I rolled my window down and said: "Excuse me, do you have any idea how I can get out of here?"

The guy said: "Well, first you have to study real hard and get good grades."

I left them laughing really hard. What is wrong with you people?