Full contact shopping

I must admit, I have a highly developed sense of personal space and getting bumped by other people drives me right out of my mind. So, I usually do my grocery shopping when they are the least busy, just so I can keep my cart, and myself at a nice comfortable distance from other people. Yes, I realize how weird that sounds. Its hard to find a nice time to go shopping anymore, I may give it up until January at least.

Today, while shopping, I saw a couple (man and a woman) shopping as well. They were spooning while pushing their cart. She pushed the cart, and he did too. Yeah, right behind her, they had to walk in unison too. He was on top of her, like white on rice. I wanted to tell them to get a room but a stocker pushed a hand cart into my back, so I got distracted.

When I went to the cashier lane to check out, the bagger rushes up the aisle towards me. I pulled the cart back out of his way and he grabbed the front end. I thought we were going to have a tug of war right there. He started flinging my items onto the conveyor belt as the cashier snapped at me to give her my Kroger card. I stepped around my cart and handed it to her.

I tried to help unload my cart, but everything I touched, Mr. Bagger grabbed out of my hand. I gave up unloading and headed to the end of the aisle to bag my groceries. I had a few things bagged, when another bagger ran over and bumped me out of his way with his hip.

At this point, I was ready to go, they obviously didn't need me there, but wait, somebody had to pay for all this stuff. They let me do that. Funny, no one offered to help me to my car, they were all swarming the next person in line.

What is wrong with you people? Give me some room already!

Where's my sunshine?

Well, we just went through the ordeal of changing all the clocks in the house for daylight savings time. I don't think I saved anything. We have 5 wall clocks to change, the oven timer, microwave timer, all the TVs and dvr thingies. I just started on the watches. There goes my hour saved.

We do this because the smart people in the government say it gives us an hour more of daylight in the winter mornings. Its morning now, where's my sunshine?

What is wrong with you people? Daylight savings doesn't save anybody anything!

That's so unfair!

We had to get a new cell phone for Zachary today. It only took 2 hours, so we felt lucky. It was a loooong time in the T-mobile store. Matthew loved looking at the phones and figuring out how to play the games. By the time we were ready to leave, he was convinced he needed to be the first 6 year old to have a cell phone. He was pretty disappointed we didn't agree.

As we were driving home, Zach was texting all his buddies about his new phone. He was enjoying hearing all the new ring tones too. He plans to get this girl's phone number with his new line "Hey, I have a new cell, and need to get your number in it." He thinks he is real smooth with the ladies now. Matthew was pretty envious he couldn't call his friends too.

From the back seat we hear very softly, "the pain, it burns". I didn't say anything at first, then a second later we hear a little louder: "the pain, it burrrrns me."
George and I look at each other, then to the back seat. "The paaaaiiin, it burrrrrns me." "If only I could have a phone like Zach's, it wouldn't burrrrrrn so much!"

What is wrong you people?

Where am I?

In a previous post, I scoffed at people not being able to identify the US on a map. I was wrong, and I have serious doubts about our educational system now too.

We rent to a lot of college students, they never fail to tell me about it too. College is so hard. I have to study and I don't have time to pay my rent. Yesterday, I had to call a college girl about her delinquent rent again. I have to call her about every other month. Usually she has had a stressful week and forgot to send it. I then have to listen to how taking a test is soooo hard! I have little sympathy for her, she picks her own classes, if its so hard, she should try something else.

This month's excuse was a lot more fun than that. She explained to me that because her last test was soooo hard, her Mommy had "whisked her out of the country" for a vacation. She really said that "whisked out of the country". I politely asked where she went. She said they went "all the way to Puerto Rico". Yeah, I paused so long, she thought I hung up.

I asked her why didn't she mail it from Puerto Rico? She explained to me that being in a foreign country and all, she didn't trust the mail over there. I lost my no sarcasm promise right there. I said: "You realize that Puerto Rico is part of the United States right? and they have the same postal service we do. Things mailed from there take about 3 days to get here."

She said:" I'll just put my check in the mail today."

Yay for getting her to shut up! What is wrong with you people? Get a map college girl!

This means war!

Last week, Blanche, the other part timer in our office got a call. Apparently a check made out to our company was found in the parking lot of the building next door. The office manager who called was at first very nice but she wanted Blanche to come over to her office and pick it up. Blanche asked her to mail it as she is over 80 and didn't want to walk that far. The office manager refused and said we had to come pick it up in person with a letter of authorization saying we had the authority to pick up checks. Naturally, Blanche left the message for me to deal with as I am an expert in the weirdo department, plus I don't mind walking too much.

I called the very next day, talked to the office manager, and now we are at war. The lines have been drawn in the parking lot. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hi, This is Deanna, from (our company) and I hear you have found one of our tenants checks. I was just calling to see how we could go about getting it over here.

Idiot next door: Well, we'll have to have one of your business cards, and a letter of authorization from your company president saying you are authorized to handle checks for you company.

Me: Well, I don't have any business cards, I just work part time, and our "president" is on vacation this week. Can't I just run over and pick this up?

Idiot next door: No, I don't know that you work for that company or that they trust you with checks.

Me: Are you kidding me? This is a small office, its just Blanche, Me, and the "president". We handle all the checks between us.

Idiot next door: Well, I just can't hand this over to anyone. How do I know you even work there?

Me: You called here yesterday, how would I know you have it, if I don't work here?

Idiot next door: Well, the check stays in my desk until you get a letter of authorization and a business card.

What is wrong with you people?

Keep your germs away from my kid!

Matthew has a cold again. This is like his 4th since school started. I know its because other parents send their kids to school when they are sick, so the germs spread farther. Its equal opportunity sickness. My kids have it so yours should too.

So, for the long weekend, I get to deal with a snotty nose. When Matt isn't feeling well, he gets cranky and tends to stomp his feet. I have had to fuss more about foot stomping than any sane person should have to.

Today I told him for the 87th time to quit stomping around the house when he doesn't get his way. He explained he wasn't stomping, he was running real hard. I told him that running with attitude, is still stomping your feet. Its going to be a long weekend.

What is wrong with you people? When your kids are sick, keep them home.

Free the Tomatoes!

These are the tomatoes I wrote about 2 weeks ago. As you can see they are still un-picked and languishing on the vine.

Those poor, orphan tomatoes. They need me to pick them and turn them into a tasty salad or BLT.

Would it be wrong to sneak over there and pick them? I don't think these people would even notice. This is an obvious case of tomato neglect. I don't think anyone would think it was wrong if I liberated these beauties from their neglectful owners.

As you can see, I have thought about these guys for way too long. What is wrong with you people? Pick them already!